


Dancing in the Flames

by wanderlustlover



Category: X-Men
Genre: Angst, F/M, Horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-11-16
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:30:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlustlover/pseuds/wanderlustlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An affair. A stalking. A few cranky x-men. Enough, said?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Default Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Marvel, I claim none of them as my own.

Looking out the window she could see him leaving. He couldn't see her peering from the dark room, but she knew he knew she was still there. She closed her eyes, and slid to the floor gently, her forehead against the wall. She couldn't face him, face the fact he knew any longer. But she couldn't stop either and she still did love him. But that wasn't her whole problem. She looked at the golden rings on the bed table sadly a few seconds. Engagement and Wedding ring. Side by side, and yet alone on the table. Someone was knocked at the door across the pitch-black room. She could hear it in the background over all of her thoughts just faintly.

"hmmm? One moment. I'm coming."

She stood up in the shadows that were left with the sunshine starting to fall away since it was late evening now and pull on a night gown and shuffled the blanket aside. Forgetting the robe even, she lay her hands on her stomach. The fabric was silk, a gift from him on their wedding night. It barely concealed anything but at this moment, she was so far from caring about it. Everything inside was hurt and it was so dark. She opened the door and her breath caught in her through. It was him. Not her husband. Not the man who just ran out on her-- old lover and now friend-- even her confidant every once in a while. In the faintest now she could hear a car powering up and driving off, and she looked up to meet his eyes. Such beauty, such feral and such danger in his, and she tried to state blankly, but whispered sadly, her voice lost and broken;

"He's gone."

Arms enclosed her softly. First she tried to push away but then she let herself fall into them, the pain starting to overwhelm her. She had the faint realization of burying her face in his flannel before the tears started to fall.

"He shouldn't ta' done that. He shouldn't run you when ya' need him most."

The words were supposed to be comforting, as he stroked her hair softly and let her cry on his shoulder, but they were angry. It was more like a growl in the silence that was surrounding the room, but he knew he was saying the truth. He couldn't believe Scott had just left her here in their room, just left her in this darkness. She was crying. He'd left her here like this.

"Shhh, shhh, It's okay, Darlin'"

He stroked her hair and shoulder softly, setting his mind from the reactions of his hand touching the silk that barely kept him from touching her skin. She was rambling into his shirt and starting to shiver in the cold air.

"He-he didn't understand-he couldn't understand. He can't understand me. It's so quiet- so dark- I'm so alone."

He tilted her chin gently looking into her eyes and he almost melted there but fought against it. He took her hand and led her back to her bed, sitting her down and he kneeled half halfway by her. He reached for a blanket and wrapped it around her lightly, his hand lightly grazing her skin. He stopped a second, froze, holding back his reaction for her- to her- to just being near her. Again. But he snapped out of it and took her hands gently, looked at her trying to seem comforting, since it was breaking him to see her this way.

"It'll be okay, Jeanie. Ya' know he'll come back ta ya'. It's just overloading him. He doesn't know how ta' deal with it."

But inside the words were different. Angry. Furios. Untamed. (You don't deserve this from him. You don't deserve this pain. That Asshole doesn't deserve you.)

"I'll never be okay. I never be okay, again. It's so quiet in my mind now. I'll never be me, again. No one needs me........wants me, anymore."

As they were spoken they broke his heart and he grabbed her and clutched her to his chest in a tight hug.

"Don't ya' ever believe that. We all need ya'. "

She didn't pull away but nestled in against him, tears falling silently, still and then looked up at him. He looked down into her eyes silently, as she studied him without moving at all. Her beautiful eyes were filled with sadness, but for more than just for Cyclops leaving and he knew it. This was finally for loosing her powers because of the Psi-War and this was for the Professor, both interigal and important parts of her life and heart. And now, too, because Cyclops couldn't understand her irrational acting because she had lost part of herself and was pushing away and needing her own space. Her green eyes were broken and lost, and her lips were trembling and he hated now that he couldn't solve everything for her.

"Do you need me? Do you want me here?"

The words so soft, so small, so fragile peirced everything he had within him.

(Need her? Didn't she know she was the only thing that kept him from being a beast forever? Want her? Did she realize he had to hold himself away from her he wanted her so bad? That he always had and always would no matter what happened or who she chose over him? God, didn't she know his blood was burning in his veins at her touch- at her being so near?)

He hugged her lightly, his words soft and gentle, picked carefully.

"Course I do, Jeanie. I'll always need ya', because ya'r a wonderful strong, wise, an' beautiful person and I'll always be here to repay ya'r for everything ya've ever given me."

She seem to settle a bit in his arms, still looking at him. She was calming finally. Her pale face seemingly normal again aside from faint fatigue and strain.

"Free me, then........"

He looked at her suddenly. Confused at her words. (Damned, I'd have freed you long before if I knew how), he said;

"What?"

She moved within his arms, and her face met the level of his.

"Free me from the darkness just for a moment."

He was growing more confused she could tell but it was the only way. The only choice left. She knew at least on his count. On Scott's there was a link to reassure her, but that was gone. With Logan it had always been know. That was the past, but atleast it had no doubts. They'd never needed words, never needed to think even. It was just know.

"Jeanie, ya'r going ta' have ta' be clearer. Free ya'? how?"

She slid off the bed completely and out of the blanket and let her knees finally touch the ground lowering totally to where he was. She put her hands lightly on the sides of his face and kissed him.

He jumped slightly and held her a bit away now. A kiss? What the hell did a kiss have to do with freedom? He looked at her shocked, the words were flying in his mind and the blood rushing through him had gone from burning ache to a scorching fire but his mouth was empty, it was the one thing filled completely with shock. Her face had gone from pale to flush suddenly. Hopelessness leaving and only want and need seeping in and filling her eyes now.

"Free me, Logan. Free me from the silence and the darkness, please."

His brows furrowed and he stayed silently, she wondered painfully what was running through his brain right now. She would have thought he'd react different. Secretly hoped he would. He had reacted to the kiss for a brief second before the control came back. Only a few seconds; but she'd felt it. It was still there.

"Jean.....don't......ya' got him."

The words were strained. It was obvious he was tightly controlling it all now.

"He doesn't understand, and he's gone. He doubts me and I doubt his love - now. The silence stops him and I, but Logan..........Logan. please."

He stared at her blankly, his emotion on wild now. His heart was going so fast. How many times had he dreamt of this? How many times had he wished this could be true? God, but not like this ever! Couldn't say yes, didn't want to say no.

"We always knew - we didn't need words or thoughts to prove it - there were no doubts.

There was always the knowing- it filled the silence then."

"Stop this.........ya' know we-I can't........ya' got him..........we all adjusted ta' that, Jeanie."

His voice was rigid and she knew he was on the edge. She knew that well enough without her lost abilities. She reached up gently and stroked one of his cheeks silently. He pulled away as if her hand had caused him pain, but not enough to have her hand taken away from it. She sat up and kissed him, gently at first. Her hands falling lightly upon his shoulders, pulling him closer and he came.

He kissed her passionately, letting the first wall of his will fall away in her embrace. The kiss was silent and needful. It was sweet and forbidden. He wrapped his arms around her small frame at the end of the kiss, tucking her head under his chin, his breath heaving in his chest, trying to push it all away still.

"We...we can't do this, Jeanie.....we can't."

She moved a small bit away looking at him. Her bright green eyes had a fire in them now. They had need and passion and a will now, but they also pleaded with him. Her fingers lightly ran through his hair.

"Stop pushing me away. Show me how you feel, now. Stop talking, just feel......please, Logan, if you care at all."

She leaned and kissed him. Heated. Passionate. All the reasons were falling away suddenly. He had them and they were vanishing. He tightened his grasp on her, his hands on the small of her back, pulling him to her and matched her kisses with a sudden fury; with anger and with passion. She moaned bearly audibly under the kiss, arching against him, her finger clasping on his shoulders.

All resistance in him snapped suddenly and drained away.

He swept her up in his arms, unto his lap, not stopping kissing her for a moment even. She didn't resist it. They were both running without thought anymore, it was only emotion and need now. His hands ran down her sides gently, as he made himself control alittle bit, running them lightly over the silk and dragging it along her skin. It was short enough already; the small silverish negligee barely came down far enough to completely conceal her bottom and front anyway. Now it teased her skin as he moved it and she couldn't help but move and jump slightly as it did and he smiled, enjoying it.

She hands kneed his shoulders tightly her finger nails dig against his shirt lightly and her hands went down suddenly and pulled his shirt up, up and over his head. She ran her fingertips and her nails down his chest lightly. He was watching her but it was wonderful. She leaned down and pressed kisses lightly to his breastbone. Suddenly, he shivered lightly, and she ran her tongue lightly across his skin, again, nipping at his nipples lightly with her teeth too.

He growled lowly. Fire was spreading through him like wild, and her touches were burning him almost as if there was no heat already. She was going to drive him crazy. This had to be a dream. He crushed her to him again suddenly his face buried into her hair now and he breathed in. Such a sweet scent. Such heavenly beautiful eyes and passion. He kissed her harshly, claiming her. She was beautiful, she was his dream and his need.

He ran his hand all the way down her sides again, catching the end of her nightgown in his hand and pulling it over slowly, dragging it slowly over her skin. She was moaning lightly as the fabric increased teasing her stomach with it, then her breasts and nipples with the end of the fabric. And then pulled it all the way over her.

"Jean......."

She watched him as his gaze followed the length of her unclothed body. She trembled lightly. She wanted this- had wanted it so long. His lips fell from her lips traveling across her cheek and down her throat slowly and then down her shoulder. They left a trail of heat in her blood as he went so slowly, driving her senses completely nuts. She gasped suddenly as his lips lightly touched her right nipple and she was shocked by a rush of emotions through her as he switched to the other nipple now doing the same thing to it, too.

"Logan......"

She moaned and her hands landed on the back of his head as he was nipping at it lightly with his teeth and nibbling it now too. He was holding her tightly, even though she was squirming lightly in his arms. Her nipple puckered in his teeth as he bit it lightly. Her hand against his head were pushing him closer even though he couldn't come much closer to her and he began to suckle her entire breast and she moaned more loudly right next to his ear.

Hands running lightly down her held her to him tightly a moment, her bottom in his two hands kissing her deeply without an end or a caution and then lay her back on the floor looking at her a second. Hair in an aura of almost a halo around her head and her fire green eyes dilated from pleasure. Such a vision of completely beauty and awe. His hand came down gently and moved her thin, well-toned legs apart, pulling her gently a little towards him. He lowered his head slowly, letting her watch his every move even how far into the pleasure she already was.

"Ohh."

He started kissing the inside of her tights gently, nipping at the skin lightly and then more roughly. then on the other side, too. Then he brought his head straight down centered kissing her thatch of soft dawny hair sweetly, she ached a bit at this needing, wanting. She gasped suddenly as his tongue ran down the lips of her virgina and she wriggled in pleasure. She was already wet and slippery, already ready for him. He licked it away slowly, tantalizing the edges of her opening with his tongue gently. Lightly he began to push the skin, and she arched against him pushing it alittle further in. He nipped at the sides of her hole causing her to moan in pleasure and then stuck his tongue in, suckling all of her. She moaned turning and turning against him now and he moved back, sitting up and pushing a finger into her gently into her. It slid in perfectly. He trust it in and out slowly dragging them lightly against her thrusts.

"OOH!"

She was reaching her climax. He could tell. She was meeting each trust with more force. He pulled the finger out again and trust in with two. She gasped completely taken away but her body arched up to him. He began thrusting and thrusting. Her hips rose meeting each trust with the same force until the orgasm hit and then she stopped, groaning ever so heavily, her breathing hot and slow a look of such exquisite pleasure on her face.

He climbed up beside her kissing her gently as she came back from it. She kissed with more and more fire each time and she reaching down. Unbuttoning his pant and pulling them down. Seeming to find them a bother to her, he stood and shucked them aside along with his boxers and lowered himself back down into her arms and her kisses, which were becoming as passionate again. She ran her fingers lightly down his chest and then his stomach. Her fingers splaying lightly over his balls and he groaned/growled lightly into the silence around them that had fallen again. Her fingers slowly wrapped themselves around him. Squeezing and releasing in a pattern almost.

God, she was going to melt everything inside him. She was creating such a fire with her gentle touches. It was scorching him completely. He wasn't going to be able to wait much longer. He lowered himself over her as she relaxed her hands and kissed him again. He slid it in slowly gently at first and then faster and faster as she began to arch meeting him thrust for thrust. Faster and faster and faster. And deeper and harder and deeper and harder.

She found her second orgasm first and he continued to trust as she met him still sending her over and into it, and a few seconds later he found his edge and thrust one last time, as it overcame him too and he spilled into her, falling heavily to her side, half on her, clutching her tightly to him still. The word fell in the silence suddenly of thought and of voice, but distinguished of who's mouth they came from was impossible.

"I never dreamed........"

**********************************************************************

He was waking up slowly, she could see him from the window. She smiled faintly thinking a moment over what happened and then the slightest frown also at what she'd done.

"Where tha' hell?"

A shadow crossed over him. Either someone had turned a light on in his room or it was morning and someone was near him whichever it was. He snapped awake and blinked, focusing his eyes. It was Jean standing over him. She dropped down next to him, silently. She was dressed in her uniform, hair held back by her headband. He looked around a second realizing he was in her room and it all came back. They'd made love on the floor in Scott and Jeans' bedroom and then he held her in his arms through the rest of the night. He looked at her a moment. Her expression was almost impossible to read.

"Jeanie--"

His words stopped as she pressed a finger to his lips.

"Don't say anything, Logan. Just leave it where it is."

She smiled lightly and handed him his clothes watching him dress quietly. He stood watching her as she stood and walked back, leaning her back against the window watching him. When he finished he walked to the door quietly and stood there watching her as she walked towards him. She stopped to the side of him and opened the door silently; they stood looking at each other silently as.

"I don't regr---"

She placed a finger to his lips and stood on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, soft whisper in his ear.

"The darkness- it's not so silent anymore."

He nodded faintly and looked like he wanted to say something but understood the words held nothing for the moment right now and her backed out quietly, as she shut the door. She walked across the room, picking up the nightgown and the blanket tossing them on the bed. Everything in her kept screaming yes and no in unison and it was driving her insane.

The door suddenly opened behind her. She made her eyes stay on the outside, a faint smile touched her lips, playfully;

"Forget something?"

"Jean, that's harsh you know I wouldn't leave forever; I love you."

She turned around, shocked showed in her face. It was Scott. Her husband. She was suddenly at a loss for words. A complete loss for words.

"I know what I did was wrong and I'm apologizing for it. I know it was wrong to run off last night."

She nodded faintly, part of her going numb in shock still and she turned back to the window, keeping her voice slightly low as to conceal the shock. How much time had actually passed since Logan had left the room? Perhaps five minutes? Or was it less? Maybe only one or two. Or had he seen Logan walk out of the room even? She calmed, trying to concentrate on the conversation.

"It's alright, Scott. It's forgotten. It was good to have some time to myself anyway- to-to think."

Arms wrapped around her lightly from behind her and hugged her from behind holding her safely in them as she watched out the window. Four bodies were walking out side. She watched closely.

"I won't go like that again, Jean. I promise I won't."

She nodded faintly, only half hearing what he said as she felt a kiss on her hair, but her eyes were outside. The four people were talking it seemed. The two first were Gambit and Rogue. Rogue was laughing. Gambit had probably told a joke or something. And then there was energetic Jubilee -- she'd come on a short vacation from the other school -- on her roll skates, skating in circles around..............Logan.

She tried to look at him detachedly not mixing it with the swirl of emotion in her and without trying to guess he might be feeling the same way. He seemed his normal self oddly. Distant and detected from the world completely; accept from the teasing smiles at Jubilee. No one had his heart like her. Jubilee was his partner and they were close as daughter and father. She'd never hurt him and he'd never hurt her. Jubilee was lucky, and she realized just faintly that she envied the kid.

"Jean? Honey, are you alright?"

She snapped out of it realizing Scott was talking to her. What had happened? She'd just slipped too far into thinking, she guessed. She turned around in his arms, forcing a smile, but it came natural after making everyone think she was fine lately. She kissed him and wrapped her arms lightly around his neck and shoulders, burying her face in the nook between his shoulder and neck on one side, forcing her whirling thoughts to calm.

"I'm completely fine, Scott. Don't worry so much."


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'd been two days. Two long, acheingly silent days. He punched the punching bag harder, trying to keep his thoughts from it. That was the hardest part- accepting it all as reality. A bittersweet reality. It hadn't been some dream. It had been real. *SNKIT!* The claws slashed through the bag. Most of it she had spent in her room still- like the time before. She was no more part of the group now.

Dancing in the Flames

It'd been two days. Two long, acheingly silent days. He punched the punching bag harder, trying to keep his thoughts from it. That was the hardest part- accepting it all as reality. A bittersweet reality. It hadn't been some dream. It had been real. *SNKIT!* The claws slashed through the bag. Most of it she had spent in her room still- like the time before. She was no more part of the group now.

What had he expected? That she would suddenly change? Something?

His claws slashes through it once more, small beans falling out of the holes unnoticed to him. Things were different, but they weren't at the same time. She still came out and talked to people. She smiled blankly like she had these last few weeks and she mumbled slight conversations, and sat silently. She didn't acknowledge him, but then she hadn't before either. She never seem to acknowledge anyone was in a room till she was spoken to anymore and then it just seemed as if they had a 1/4 or so of her attention and the rest of her was gone, but that was beyond remembering now. That was before two days ago, too. Everything was dived into then and now in his thoughts.

He punched it one last time, watching it fall to the ground as the impact broke the string it was hanging on. Don't think about it. Push it away for now. He almost smiled grimly, but turned on his heels not even giving it a moment of his attention and strode out of the room. He walked quietly to the kitchen, pushing the door open angrily so that it slammed the wall with a slightly loud noise.

"Woah! Where's the fire?"

He turned his eyes locking on Cyclops quickly as the end of the table making a sandwich an assortment of odds and ends in front of him with half a glare and them made his way to the refrigerator getting a beer. Pulling it out, looking at him.

"Huh, a joke? How funny. Sorry I forgot ta laugh, Bub."

Cyclops frowned faintly adding cheese to his sandwich and let the comment slide; Wolverine was obviously in a rather bad mood.

"I needed to come find you anyway, Wolverine. I need to talk to you about something."

Watching his so-called leader over the rim of his can of beer as he drank, he noted the nervousness in his actions and words.

"So, spill it."

Cyclops continued making his sandwich. He was trying not to be nervous.

"It's some serious news. And well from the way you came in I need you to say you won't over react."

He strode two steps, one hand clenching the side of the table and one hand reaching for Cyclops' shirt.

"Quite dancing around it, Pretty Boy, I'm not in the mood for games; what's the news?"

"It's about Jubilee."

He spun around at the voice, but he knew who it was before his eyes set on the person. Of all people- her. Jean, or Phoenix, as she come to call herself again, stood in the doorway, leaning to one side of it. Why hadn't he scented her before she spoke? Her of all people. Was he that out of it? She was dressed in a pair of form fitting black pants and a simple royal blue sweater. Her flaming red hair was wavy and loose down her back and her face was faintly blank, but filled slightly with worry. That forced his own concern for whatever it was and a faint pain when she deliberately looked away the moment she noticed him looking at her.

"What about tha' Kid?"

"She's not here on vacation," Cyclops said calmly.

"What tha' hell ya' mean she ain't here on vacation?"

Jean walked in quietly, standing at the opposite end of the table from Cyclops, Wolverine at her right, and placed her hands lightly on the back on the chair pushed in there, her eyes studying the table as she spoke quietly.

"Emma called earlier this morning to tell the Professor how things were going at the Institute like she normally does every once in a while. Well, she did exactly that, except for one minor problem. She reported Jubilee disappeared from the Institute almost a week ago. About a day to two before she showed up here."

"What are ya' two talking 'bout? Are ya' saying Jubilee ran away, came here on a "supposed" vacation, then lied ta all of us 'bout it?" He said gruffly looking from Jean to Cyclops.

"That exactly what Jean said, Wolverine, "Cyclops said pulling a piece or two of lettuce off the head and putting on his sandwich.

"Jubilee wouldn't just do that, Cyc. She ain't like that," Wolverine said watching Cyclops closely as he bag the lettuce and also sent a tomato rolling down the table towards Jean accidentally.

"What she ain't like you? She doesn't just pick up out of the blue and leave without announcing it, Wolverine?"

* SNKIT!*

"What did ya' say?" He leaned in towards Cyclops, imposingly.

"Stop it! Both of you! You're acting like children!"

They both looked up surprised at Jean as she shouted at them a faintly annoyed expression on her face turning angry. Emotion like talking seemed a thing of the past for her of late.

"I was only stating the perhaps she been learning from example, Jean," Cyclops said moving a few things aside oddly," Where's that tomato?"

"Just stop it, Scott. He doesn't deserve that." Jean said quietly reaching for the tomato at the edge of the table to her right. Just as her hand closed over the tomato something flicked across her skin and then covered her hand. She looked up surprised to meet Wolverines eyes, just as shocked. She drew her hand away suddenly dropping the tomato on the floor, holding her hand to her a second, her eyes still looking at him.

He saw it, just the faintest flicker in her eyes, but he saw it before she pulled away. The emotions in her eyes faintly ranged from shock then surprise and want, then yielding, and sudden serious warning as she turned away her gaze for a moment falling on Scott because he hadn't noticed and then she knelt down to get the tomato. She stood up and walked over to him around the edge of the table to the left opposite of Wolverine, carrying it.

"Here, Scott."

"Anyone try talkin' ta her yet?"

"Yeah, She in with the Professor right now, so you just leave her be for now," Cyclops said and looked up at Jean fondly as she handed him the tomato, there hands touching just briefly; and she brightened a few seconds and smiled in return as Cyclops said;

"Thanks, Hun."

"I do what I wanna do!" He said loudly; gruffly, not sure which was bugging him more the conversation or the small scene playing out in front of his eyes. He turned on his heels and made his way out, slamming the door loud against the wall.

She looked up suddenly at the noise, faintest wince to her expression.

"What was that about?" Cyclops asked looking up from his sandwich as he finally finished it.

"Jubilee's like a daughter to him, Scott. Anything hurts her, hurts him."

He'd gone back to his sandwich. Must remember toothpick, olive; but her eyes were still on the door and her heart was no longer within the room again. She wished she could follow, but her legs remained motionless as a conversation started up between her and Scott.

Her husband.


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3

Dancing in the Flames

Part 3

The clouds outside were unmistakably bright glowy white ships and the sky was a bright blue sea they were floating it. The sky herself seemed to gleam with golden beam of light reflecting everywhere-small prisms of rainbows off glass surfaces. Little rainbows were like little wishes that never come true, just staying bright and friendly too long and disappearing when the ship clouds come to claim their spot again. Something was calling her faintly she could hear it in the back of her mind.

"Jean? Jean are you listening?"

She looked up from the window; they ere all looking at her again. As she had lately she said nothing. Her mood was growing foul as she thought over things, not sure how to feel.

"Jean, Honey, are you okay?"

That was Scott. At her side taking her hand, wanting to make everything right, right away before it could get worse. She let go of his hand rather detachedly and stood up, faint mummer not sure if anyone heard her.

"I need some air."

With that and a last look around at her closest friends she walked out the room silently. Knowing their concern without feeling it and her heart's pain by acting this way she didn't looks back as she walked to the door silently. Not once, because they were her heart and one backward glance would be her undoing. One backward glance and the unwanted tears that plagued her heart and soul would fall and everything would spill out.

Sympathy would be abounding but soon with truth would turn to confusion as glances were cast in different directions at other people, silent and very unsilent accusations being made that would for a point tear the team apart in places. Jean shook her head, being torn apart inside was enough, these people were the one thing keep her still whole. She didn't want them to be this way, too.

She opened the front door slipping out into the cool, crisp March air. A bit nippy for her clothing which were only pair of spandex black pants the came to just below her knees, the short sleeve royal blue sweater and a pair of sandals. She let her hair blow in the wind as she stood on the porch. The barriers she placed around her thoughts were still there so no one but perhaps the Professor could get in and he would still have to take down those to hear, but he wouldn't.

He never pried into her thoughts uninvited when he had been here.

((Am I okay, Scott? Darling? Sure, what would you like me to say???? I went at it like- like an animal with Wolverine on our bedroom floor and I'm feeling fine now; How are you? Sure, yeah silence not bothering me anymore. You wanted the truth? Well, It's burns the same as the emptiness and you'll never understand either.))

But she also knew that it had been more than that and it was a cruel way to phrase what had happened. It had been nothing like that. She'd given in to something inside herself she'd buried deep inside her heart and soul too long. Something that had been the only thing that quenched the silence. She'd usually never acted like this- but a few times before it had happened, too. Not as far as this one had gone but there had been other times she'd given into the temptation and attraction between her and Logan.

She had given in. She'd wanted it. She'd liked it. It had been thoughtless, feral- wild in ways she couldn't understand in her thoughts, which was a place in least she had control. But it had released her of her grasp of time and thought. Her thumb turned the band of wedding ring behind her engagement ring as she though on that night again. She had been laying in their bed while Scott was trying to get her to talk and she was half there, half in her silence inside. She'd let slip a few things she just plain shouldn't have said and she knew it, but it had been her anger and hurt speaking. He'd taken it personally, gotten hurt and left after telling her maybe that she needed time apart from him angrily and soon after Logan had showed up.

It had all been one big blessing and curse. She'd never meant to kiss him when she'd seen him in the doorway. Faintest curiosity struck suddenly as she brushed away a curl of fire bright hair walking towards the forest silently.

What had Logan originally come to Scott and her room for anyway?

*******************************************

"I am worried about her;" Ororo said to the others standing near the open sliding door where she could feel the breeze, her eyes on the door that Jean had just since closed.

Remy cast her a consoling look from the couch next to Rogue and said; "I t'ink we all second dat der, Cher."

"Has anyone seen her even smile in days for even a little second?" That would be Bobby Drake lounged across another chair like Jeans had been.

Silence abounded a second. They all knew it wasn't looking good and it didn't look like it was getting any better. She was becoming withdrawn and she wouldn't talk to almost anyone about it taking revere in the silence she would only mention she couldn't stand. No, things didn't seem to be getting brighter. Quite the opposite.

********************************************

"They're worried about you, Jeanie."

Jean cast her emerald eye towards the steam silently a second, one arm lightly across her ribs under her chest clasp to the other. The sound of the bubbling, churning, running water gave her a slight moment of relief that she truly didn't understand. But she wasn't about to push the relief away.

"I know they are; but they don't understand. None of them know what I'm going through."

"Your not talking to them won't help the situation any either. You realize that don't you?"

She frowned sitting down on the bank of the steam quietly looking at the mirad reflection in the water, her feet a few inches from the water. The light was like the glow powers or even a single lamp might give off.

"They wouldn't understand. It would be like expecting a small child understand Trigonometry or Calculus. You don't expect it of them in the least."

"And about that one try, Jeanie? What about that one?"

*********************************

Jubilee had her fingers in upward motions playing with the sparkled-light paffs above her fingertips. She knew she was in trouble and the light worry played on her expression from where she sat back in the sun chair behind the house in front of the pool.

They couldn't blame her. She was only here to get away from him.

He was a loon. The others hadn't believed her she'd tried to tell them, but they seemed to think she was imagining it, too; but she wasn't. He was not going to leave her alone. Not even for a day.

Atleast she was back here, she told herself as the light's disappeared and she started to undo the bands on her roller-skates. She slipped them out pulling up to her on the edge of the chair. They'd help. They were the X-Men. Her friends, her family. They had to.

Jubilee'd never get turned away by them. They'd never not been here for her since the beginning in

Australia. They'd help. They'd help her get away from him.

If he didn't get her first.

Again.


	4. Teddy Bear , Teddy Bear

"Jeeaann."

A voice called singsong to her and behind if seemed to be this light rat-tat-tat slapping noise. She looked around feeling a bit lost, and an edge of dread grasping her as she realizing she's incased in a thick dark fog, so thick she can't see beyond her face even a foot.

"Jean."

The voice called a bit more anxious this time. Was it bordering on worry? It was obviously, getting to hear it a second time, a young girl. It was familiar somehow but she couldn't put her finger on it. Was it her niece?

"Gailyn? Gailyn, honey, is that you?"

Somewhere to her left the slapping noise, slow as it had been seemed to grow more rapid, like a microphone and speakers were starting to make it louder, all around her. A chorus of children's voices started up at about that same second, an errie sound to their voices so slow as they all called out the chant.

"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Turn around"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Touch the ground"

"Are you shackled down? Are they keeping you from the sky, the stars, all of creation at your finger tips, where you belong, Phoenix?" A voice began, wrapping itself around her, making her whole body tremble with energy, and tugged at something inside. Something that _**did**_ feel trapped and squashed by everything.

"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Go upstairs"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Say your prayers"

"Pray, child Tiphareth…pray for tomorrow's rising," a voice shrilly whispered, even though she was looking around wasn't able to tell if it that was her imagination or she'd really heard something, but the continuing errie singing of the children covered anything else that might have been again.

"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Turn off the light"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear"  
(Slap, Slap)  
"Say goodnight"

"Goodnight…..


End file.
